Byron Donalds for Governor, like Florida isn’t already suffering enough

Byron Donalds rallying extremists

Hang tight, folks—Congressman Byron Donalds is a trainwreck we can’t stop watching, and now he’s eyeing Florida’s governor gig in 2026. This Naples Republican, a MAGA poster child with Trump’s seal of approval, has a past more toxic than Florida’s red tide. From a wiped-clean felony record to slamming the door on criminal justice reform, Donalds is the guy who made it out, then burned the bridge. Here’s why we’re glued to this mess.

Felon to Free Man—Then a Lockout

Let’s be clear: we’re not here to trash felons. The justice system’s a busted machine, riddled with racism and bad breaks, and plenty of folks deserve better than what it dishes out. Donalds, though? He’s the exception that highlights the double standard—and then some.

In 1997, he snagged a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge at Florida A&M. It got dismissed through pretrial diversion—nice. Then, in 2000, he pleaded no contest to felony theft for allegedly trying to scam a bank with a bad check. That record? Sealed and expunged, gone like yesterday’s news. He’s legally free to pretend it never happened, and he’s squeezed every drop from that advantage.

Fast forward, and Donalds is now U.S. Rep for Florida’s 19th District, clinching Trump’s “TOTAL WINNER!” nod for governor on February 20, 2025, via Truth Social. He beat the system, sure—but instead of holding the door for others, he’s padlocked it shut.

Redemption? Not for You

Donalds once flirted with reform. As a Florida state rep from 2016 to 2020, he backed a 2019 bill raising the felony theft threshold from $300 to $750—a rare tip of the hat to the system he once navigated. But since hitting Congress in 2021, he’s flipped the script.

He’s voted against measures like the EQUAL Act to ease drug sentencing disparities—ironic for a guy who dodged a pot charge. He’s all “tough on crime” now, unless it’s January 6th rioters (just a “misstep,” he shrugs). Florida’s brutal felony disenfranchisement laws keep thousands in limbo, and Donalds? He’s not lifting a finger. He got his second chance, then turned his back.

Ghosting the Gavel

In 2023, Donalds missed 120 House votes—over 13%—per ProPublica. While his district wrestled with real issues, he was MIA, maybe plotting his governor run or polishing Trump’s boots. When he does show, it’s for stunts—like waving a doctored WhatsApp message in the 2023 Biden impeachment farce, debunked in hours. All flash, no follow-through.

Brawler, Not Builder

Donalds loves a scrap. At a January 2025 Naples town hall, he reportedly challenged a woman to “step outside” after she questioned his record, per the Florida Trident. No fists, but the vibe was more bar fight than public servant. His advisor, Larry Wilcoxson, adds flavor with a vacated cocaine and grand theft auto rap from 2022. This is the team angling to lead Florida?

Governor Grab

On February 25, 2025, Donalds announced his 2026 governor bid on Hannity, Trump’s blessing in tow. He’s promising to out-MAGA DeSantis with border hawkishness and gun rights bravado, sidestepping Florida’s insurance woes, water quality concerns, and teacher shortages. His past is erased, his present is a circus, and his future could be our headache.

Why We’re Obsessed

We’re not mad Donalds was a felon—the system’s a rigged mess. We’re obsessed because he slipped through its cracks, then sealed them up for everyone else. He’s a redemption story gone rogue. As he charges toward 2026, we can’t look away—not because he’s a hero, but because he’s a walking red flag. Buckle up, Florida—this ride’s about to get wild.